January 24, 2016 by philipbullitthughes
I’ve had quite a few requests to go into more detail on the female INTJ and their dating difficulties, so I have decided to oblige and expound upon my previous posts below. I’ve been hesitant to do so because I realize this is a bit dangerous in that it can come across as a gross oversimplification, but I’ll do my best. So please bear with me.
It’s true, out of all the personality types it seems the female Mastermind has the most difficult time when it comes to finding a mate. Why, they often wonder, if they are so talented, bright, and deep, do they feel so overlooked and, more often than that, why are they unable to locate a suitable partner?
If you’re an INTJ it might come as no surprise that you’re the rarest personality type—approximately 1% of the population. What you may not know, however, is that if you’re a female INTJ your numbers are even more staggeringly low: around .25% of the entire population.
Now, if you happen to be an INTJ female you may be thinking, “That is awesome. I’m like the jadeite of personalities! But what does that have to do with love?” Yes, you’re that rare. But being so rare presents some challenges in the dating sphere.
If you take a look at my previous post on INTJs and dating, then you’ll understand many of the challenges INTJs already face when it comes to love. But for females, it is even more difficult. Why? Well, being rare (while very cool) has it pitfalls, namely that few people know how to interact with someone they have had little contact with. The average person has trouble keeping up with the INTJs intelligence, blunt nature, and critical eye; and though intelligence and critical spirits exist in both sexes, trenchancy is predominantly considered to be a male characteristic. Potential mates might expect a warmer, more sensitive person based on stereotypes. The INTJ female, however, usually flushes convention down the drain and will say precisely what pops into her head.
But this is not the only struggle INTJ females face. It is true: all INTJs want an intelligent mate. But for the female, this is often the area where they will compromise the least. Male INTJs tend to be okay with a partner less than their equal when it comes to brainpower (glean from that what you will.) Females, on the other hand, can almost never seriously date or marry someone unless they have equal or greater intelligence than themselves. Friends? Fine. Colleagues? Sure. But being with someone for the rest of their lives? That person must glow.
Thus, when you consider all of these factors—rarity, intelligence, the natural pickiness of all INTJS, and, oh yeah, compatibility—mating can be a serious struggle. It’s true, lowering expectations does help in finding a mate. But then they are usually stuck feeling a lack of respect for their partner. And once an INTJ loses respect for their mate, it is almost impossible for them to keep the negativity they feel in the depths of their mind.
Now if you’re reading this and you are an INTJ female, I must say that this post is not intended to make things seem bleak. On the contrary; it’s designed to help you understand yourself better. You are a rare and special type. It may take more time to find someone for whom you feel both respect and attraction, but the reward is usually worth the wait. After all, jadeite should be set in nothing less than gold.
If you’re reading this and you happened to have landed an INTJ female, then congratulations. That is a high honor. If you’re interested in an INTJ female, then the key is to be the best you can be in spirit, mind, and body. They want to know you can keep up with them. So read, write, exercise, and do not be lazy, or else they will likely outdistance you and not look back.