What Each Type Does During the Zombie Apocalypse

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January 22, 2016 by philipbullitthughes

Have you ever wondered what each type might do if the zombie apocalypse occurred? Well, here’s just a few things that might happen:

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The INFJ: They have warned everyone that the plague is coming, yet to their frustration, people only roll their eyes and accuse them of being conspiracy theorists. But when the first wave of zombies floods the city, they are well prepared. There’s a bunker across town. The only problem is now they have to get there.

The ENFJ: Can’t believe the INFJ was right all along. They spent hours listening to the INFJ’s rants, so they know the drill. Now they are trying to round up as many friends as possible to try to get them to safety.

The INFP: Immediately hops in their car. Gets only three blocks before they realize they’ve run out of gas. They reach for their phone to call for help. There’s only 1% battery. In their rearview mirror they see a horde of zombies heading their way. Time to move on foot.

The ENFP: Remembers hearing about a bunker from the INFJ, whom they are secretly in love with. Gets excited about the prospect of spending time in the bunker with the INFJ, but forgets where the bunker is. Stops to ask for directions, but doesn’t realize the person they are talking to is a zombie. They are bitten, and slowly the transformation begins.

The INTJ: They know it is their arch-nemesis, another INTJ, who has created the virus. The villain must be stopped. Fortunately, they have seen the signs of the ensuing crisis and developed a laser-weapon capable of destroying zombies. It’s not a cure, but at least they can defend themselves until one is developed.

The INTP: The only personality type actually excited about the zombie apocalypse. They’ve already thought through the various possible apocalypses ranging from velociraptor attacks to genetically mutated monkey escaping from the zoo to destroy the world’s major cities. The only thing is, their mental preparation has not led to any sort of real world preparation. Also, they rode their bike to work.

The ENTP: Comes up with a thousand different ways to kill a zombie and begins mentally working on an invention to destroy them all. They reason that developing a cure is not nearly as entertaining as blowing the zombies up. If only they could get to their laboratory…

The ENTJ: Gets fed up with everyone freaking out about the zombies. If no one else will take charge then they will! They develop a battle strategy and round up as many ISTPs and ESTPs as they can find. This means war.

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The ISTJ: It’s now their responsibility to get all these people to safety. Fortunately they drive an F150 equipped with various tools quite useful to the survival of all. They drive around, knocking zombies over like bowling pins and picking up wandering INFPs off the road.

The ISFJ: Gathers their family close. Makes sure everyone is accounted for. Takes the wood axe from the backyard stump and leads the way. No one in their family is turning into a zombie on their watch!

The ESFJ: Immediately gathers supplies—food, water, matches. People are worried about becoming zombies, but they don’t realize that starvation is equally as likely. And empty stomachs might lead to conflict!

The ESTJ: The chaos infuriates them. They’ve already made it to the bunker and everything is a mess. Immediately comes up with a system for doing things: who gets which supplies the ESFJ has gathered and when, schedules bathroom breaks, and makes sure everyone is pulling their own weight.

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The ISTP: Already has a stockpile of guns and ammunition. Marches through the city streets vigilante style, blowing zombie limbs off. Ultimately gets cornered. Time to go down in a blaze of glory.

The ISFP: Chills at home until the food runs out. Then, after they get hangry, they take the baseball bat from their closet and head to the store, busting heads along the way. When they realize the store has already been ransacked, they drop their bat. It’s easier to just join the zombies now.

The ESTP: They have their shotgun in the back of their sports car. They shoot skeet on the weekends and forgot to put it up. Normally, their spouse is mad at them for leaving it lying around. But not this time. They hop in the ISTJ’s pickup and roll down the window. Time for target practice.

The ESFP: Finds a group of people hurrying through the streets trying to find the bunker. Which is a good thing because the ESFP was starting to get bored. Unfortunately, the zombies have grown smarter, faster, and more dangerous. Everyone hides in a building at the sound of approaching zombies. The ESFP can’t help it—they crack a joke about how ugly zombies are and give their position away. The zombies kill everyone…Except the ESFP, who is a natural athlete and manages to escape. Though they’re pretty sad that their new friends are now zombies.

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23 thoughts on “What Each Type Does During the Zombie Apocalypse

  1. Charity says:

    This is an epic post.

  2. alex george says:

    hilarious! even though I am apparently destined to die…

  3. sharmsch says:

    Nice! I would so totally chill at home till the food runs out. But Instead of finding it easier to be a zombie, I’d take my bat go to the next store, find the bunker, make friends, and help out with strategy of killing the zombies/finding a cure and skip town to where normal people are.

    – ISFP

  4. Suddenly feel guilty for being INTJ because some would probably need my laser too. (Though I’d definitely put my own safety first) :p

  5. kelly says:

    It’s not very nice to the isfp lol A believe that the isfp are considered u_u wimps otherwise it’s quite funny to read 🙂

  6. danielka says:

    i cannot decide whether i am the one trying to take down their arch-nemesis or i am the one who created the zombies. 😛 (intj)

  7. danielka says:

    i cannot decide whether i am the one wanting to take down my arch-nemesis or the one who created the zombies. :p (/intj)

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