January 17, 2016 by philipbullitthughes
After receiving multiple requests to write on the ENTP concerning sex, dating, and love, I have to say this to all you ENTPs out there: you win. Here it is.
For the ENTP, the whole process of love is vastly entertaining—especially if they identify a person as a member of the intelligentsia. Because to them, dating is an intellectual endeavor—a game of hearts that must be solved and conquered.
Usually the ENTP identifies someone attractive that also has a brain (and by brain, I mean smart.) Then, they proceed to tease them. And not just a little bit. They tease them incessantly. You’d almost think they didn’t like the person with the amount of good-natured insults and needling being tossed about. Oddly enough, ENTPs are one of the few types able to get away with it. Why? Because of the ease with which they use humor to whittle defenses. Their banter is astoundingly charming—especially to the quieter individual—who suddenly feels rather flattered by the amount of attention they are receiving. The ENTP teases and laughs, and positively loves it when their love interest returns fire, usually making them all the more enthralled.
This banter, however, can often be their downfall, for some ENTPs have difficulty turning it off in order to have the more serious conversation. ENTPs don’t usually enjoy discussing their feelings, and as such they can seem emotionally distant. The confession of love part of the whole courtship process is not quite so exciting as the mental sparring, and can leave them feeling vulnerable—a feeling that the flinty ENTP detests. If rejected, the ENTP will often pretend to be unbothered—distracting themselves with activities and projects, denying any feelings of pain.
It’s vital to note how greatly ENTPs value their freedom. Independence is of the utmost importance to them—not just in their everyday living, but also their minds. They tend to be non-judgmental, open to other ideas and opinions, so long as they don’t feel forced to accept them as their own. That said, as soon as the ENTP gets wind of someone trying to control or change them, they will buck and leave without a backward glance.
In the context of a more serious relationship, the ENTP is continually seeking out new experiences. They are easily bored, and if something sounds exciting and stimulating—skydiving, a business venture, building some sort of new killer robot, and the like—they typically dive right in. If partner does not have a willingness to engage in whatever activity that catches their fancy, that’s fine. But if they attempt to inhibit the ENTP from partaking in their newfound interest, this can cause quite a bit of resentment, and in many cases, open conflict.
In terms of sex, the ENTP is one of the more open types. They enjoy experimentation, and, as they tend to live by their own moral code, they do not usually shy away from the idea of multiple partners—as long as it doesn’t mean anything serious. However, with their eventual mate, the desire to feel intellectually stimulated is almost as important to feeling physically stimulated. It’s difficult for them to respect anyone who does not meet their standards of intellect, and might become bored rather fast with a relationship built around the physical. Fortunately, they rarely make the life-long commitment with someone they find dull, and thus tend to have great satisfaction in marriage.
If you’re interested in an ENTP, remember to not take their banter too personally. They do it because they like you. Respect their need for autonomy and give them a wide berth. It’s true; because of their rapier wit and natural cleverness they may seem incurably arrogant at times. But that is a part of their appeal. Appreciate them for their versatility, their smarts, imagination, and most of all for their curiosity.
If you happen to be an ENTP, try to express yourself emotionally from time to time. It is may be challenging, but your partner will appreciate understanding your heart as well as your mind. Remember to step away from your projects every so often and focus on your partner, asking how they are feeling and such. If you’re trying to woo someone, take the initiative and let them know how you feel rather than hinting or keeping things light.