May 16, 2014 by philipbullitthughes
All introverts share a common need: time spent alone in order to recharge, reflect, and decompress. So deep is the need in the INFP and INFJ that if neglected, they begin to experience lethargy—a fogging of the mind, if you will. If forced to socialize for extended periods, they might even they suffer anxiety that could blossom into full fledged panic attacks. Solitude is their sanctuary, a place they can enjoy their own thoughts without the clutter of stimulation from the outside world.
Of course, with personalities so complex as the INFP and INFJ nothing is ever simple. For them, seclusion is a need of peak importance. Unfortunately, so is a need for deep and meaningful relationships. They are often torn between needing to spend time alone, while simultaneously wishing they could be with a friend or loved one. Mind you, the key to the previous sentence is the lack of plurality. The Introverted Idealists desire closeness with a select few, usually one at a time. Unless they are completely recharged, large groups produce too much stimuli for them, and their personalities are keen to pick up nuances, often flooding them with information to the point where they feel overwhelmed. But time spent with one person, exploring their personality and letting themselves be explored is particularly special to them. In fact, it is a need just as great as that for time spent unaccompanied. Often enough, they feel a powerful sense of guilt over not being with another person, or, as confusing as it may sound, they might even feel lonely when they finally do take a time-out from people.
Fortunately, there is a compromise that offers the Idealists the best of both worlds: being alone together. For the INFPs and INFJs enjoy just being in the room with someone else, reading, writing, thinking, and what have you. No words need be spoken; the simple understanding that they are together with the other person is enough for them to feel recharged while at the same time connected. Naturally, this is not always the case, and the INFP and INFJ will need total aloneness from time to time, as anyone will. But in general, this technique works well for those who wish to spend time with them while they are feeling drained.
If you have an INFP or INFJ in your life, remember to give them the freedom to be alone without condemning them, and do not take it personally if they slip away. It might almost feel like rejection, but rest assured, it isn’t. They are simply satisfying a need. If they invite you to be with them while they do another activity, be sure to take them up on it. For them, it is doubly gratifying.
Now, for those of you who follow my blog, I’d like to point out that I’ve been toying with the idea of doing each type’s villain within pop-culture. However, I recognize that no one wants to be compared to Dolores Umbridge, so I am hesitant to do so. Thus, I ask all of you: would you enjoy such a series? Also, I am debating with whether or not to continue my relationship posts on each type. Please leave a comment below with your yea and nays, and please like and subscribe!